Lucky Us!

As I was crafting the previous post (as so often happens) I was reminded of this excerpt from Michael J. Fox's memoir, Lucky Man, which just a few weeks ago, I used with teachers to explore mentor text:



Teachers labeled this technique:  leaving out critical information to build suspense.  

So how 'bout this try:

    They wheeled the portable ultrasound into the room on the sixth floor.  I was reclined at the foot of the bed.  Everyone was there: my mom, sister, dad, husband.  Everyone was there to catch a glimpse of Camryn months before we'd ever get to hold her.  

    But one of us was watching more closely than the rest.  One of us wouldn't get to hold her.  Indeed, no one knew better than my dad the importance of this invasion of his room on the oncology floor: his final birthday gift.  

I like the way authors establish this sort of comparison.  They start by telling you what something isn't before revealing what it finally is.  

Now, it's your turn...